Pick Up That Pen!

The Cheap Therapy of Writing Through Pain

Writing through grief has benefits.

When my son died, I wanted to be buried with him. He was four, cute, and a fighter. He had gone through eight months of surgeries, chemo, radiation, and scans. When a staph infection crept in and shut down his body, I didn’t want to believe that this trauma was happening. Not to my boy! He was supposed to be one of the ones who survived his cancer, who grew old, who lived to tell his story.

During the early days of being a bereaved mom, I picked up a pen and wrote in a journal one of my son’s nurses gave me. When that journal filled, I purchased a notebook and used it to write my anguish. I wrote in the dark nights, I wrote as my other children napped. I wrote of despair and fear and longing. My questions to God were included in the pages, my raw emotions and tears saturated the pages. Many of my sentences started with “Why?” and “How come?” and “If only”.

Writing saved me. Now I share the benefits of writing with others, especially those in new grief. You might feel like dying, but life will carry on. Take that notebook and pen with you. You will find that your written words can help to mend your heart. Writing is a healthy way to deal with the sorrowful circumstances in life.

How to start? Here are some tips:

1. Write freely, for your eyes only. No one has to read your words; you don’t have to share them with anyone.
2. Write when your brain feels muddled. Just jot down words and see what transpires. Don’t worry about punctuation or spelling.
3. Write a psalm of woe. David, the biblical psalmist, wrote many verses from his sorrow and when we read them, we often find ourselves able to relate to his words. He didn’t hold back when he had questions or felt like he was in a pit of despair.
4. Write in the hours that wake you when you feel alone. Your journal is a companion that is always available to you.
5. Write to unleash your heavy heart onto the page. Your journal shares your grief.
6. Write when it seems others don’t “get” your anguish or have hurt you. Instead of lashing out at them, pour your anger onto paper.

You will be amazed at how much writing through your grief will help you heal and find hope once more. All you need is paper and a pen. I call it cheap therapy.